Stop Fighting Reality

Stop fighting reality because you will inevitably lose.
Most of the stress we experience is not caused by what happens. It is caused by our resistance to what is.
As leaders, professionals, parents, partners—humans—we spend an enormous amount of energy wishing reality were different. What if that a conversation had gone another way. what if somebody would have made a different decision. What if that would have happened tomorrow? Could it not wait?. But life does not seem to give us a break.It created constant problems to us. The universe conspires against us to make our life more difficult.
And to make things worse, reality doesn’t negotiate. I got news for you. Conscious leadership begins the moment we stop trying to win that negotiation.

Stress Is Not a Badge of Honor
We live in a culture that quietly glorifies stress. Being busy is mistaken for being important. Being overwhelmed is confused with being committed. Carrying pressure is seen as a sign of responsibility. I used to say to my team: Please, be less busy and more productive. Lets’ focus on efficiency not on effort.
Yet stress does something profoundly dangerous:
it reduces our cognitive capacity.
When we are stressed, our thinking narrows. We lose perspective. We react instead of respond. We move faster, but in the wrong direction. And over time, stress does not only damage our decisions—it damages our health, our relationships, and our quality of life.
A stressed leader is not a stronger leader.
A stressed leader is a weaker one.

Surrender Is Not Giving Up
“Surrendering to reality” sounds passive. Even defeatist.
It is neither.
I personally do not like the word surrender, and I prefer he word accepting. This is because the very heavy negative charge that the word surrendering has. It often goes with suffering and humiliation. However, surrendering can be very beneficial and wise.
In this context, surrendering means acknowledging what is happening without emotional resistance. It means accepting the facts of the moment so you can work with them instead of fighting them.
You cannot make a good decision while arguing with reality.
Leadership—real leadership—does not happen in the future. It happens now, in the present moment, with the conditions that exist, not the ones we wish for.
The present moment is the only place where clarity lives.

Mar and the Weight of Constant Struggle
I often think about my friend Mar.
Mar is constantly worried about her day-to-day struggles. And if you listen to her story, it truly seems as if reality has conspired against her. Big challenges arrive one after another—professional uncertainty, personal setbacks, health issues affecting relatives. And when there is a brief pause, life fills it with something smaller but equally draining: a parking fine, a missed appointment, an unexpected bill.
Everything feels terrible.
Everything feels heavy.
Everything feels like proof that life is a constant battle.
What strikes me most is not the number of problems—because everyone has them. It is where the focus goes.
Mar’s attention is always on the next obstacle, never on the last one she already overcame. She rarely celebrates how she managed to solve the previous issue, how resilient she has been, how capable she actually is. Her nervous system lives permanently in anticipation of the next hit.
And anticipation is where stress multiplies.

The Antifragile Leader Lives in the Present
A conscious leader understands something counterintuitive:
Life does not become easier. We become stronger. Popular wisdom reminds us that calm seas never make good sailors.
It is not comfort that builds capability, but challenge.
We grow not when everything is easy, but when we are forced to navigate uncertainty, make decisions without perfect information, and learn to trust ourselves and one another.
Calm waters feel safe—but it is the storms that teach us how to sail.
Each problem faced fully, consciously, and in the present moment builds resilience. Over time, this does more than make us robust—it makes us antifragile. We don’t just resist pressure; we grow because of it.
But that growth only happens when we stay present.
Leading is not about eliminating problems. It is about meeting them without panic, without drama, without the story that “this shouldn’t be happening.”
The moment you bring your attention back to now, stress loses its grip. Your mind clears. Your options expand. Your decisions improve.
And quietly, almost without noticing, life becomes lighter—not because there are fewer challenges, but because you are no longer carrying tomorrow on your shoulders.

Conscious Leadership Is a Daily Practice
Conscious leadership is not a personality trait.
It is a practice.
A practice of noticing when stress takes over.
A practice of returning to the present moment.
A practice of accepting reality quickly, so action can follow.
A practice of celebrating progress, not just surviving problems.
Because the quality of your leadership will never exceed the quality of your inner state.
And a calm, present leader is not only more effective—they are healthier, clearer, and far more alive.

Conscious Leadership Tip #30
When stress appears, stop asking “What’s next?” and start asking “What is required now?”
Presence dissolves unnecessary suffering. Acceptance restores clarity. And leaders who master the present moment don’t just endure pressure—they transform it into strength.