Honor the Promise — Integrity in Action
“We don’t trust people because they’re perfect; we trust them because they’re consistent.” – Simon Sinek
Why talk about promises?
Over the last few weeks my inbox has been flooded with one big question: “How do you feel about leaders who break their word?”
Honesty has been the unspoken thread in nearly every message.
So let’s name it, examine it and—together—raise the standard.
A promise is the simplest contract on earth: I will do what I just said I would do.
Straight‑forward? Yes.
Common? Not anymore.
From campaign trails to corporate road‑shows, we have grown disturbingly tolerant of leaders who shrug off missed commitments.
Yet conscious leadership cannot exist without promises. They are the visible hinge between inner integrity and outer trust. In the words of Finnish educators—who teach values long before phonics—character precedes competence. That early investment is one reason Finland consistently tops global education rankings.
The Promise Advantage: Two Directions, One Result
1. The Inner Game — Self‑Growth
Promises forge self‑confidence, not ego.
Ego feeds on applause; confidence grows quietly from evidence—the evidence that you actually do what you said you would.
Neuroscience backs this up: external rewards dampen dopamine production while internal wins amplify it, making us healthier and, yes, happier.
Start small. Admiral William H. McRaven’s famous “make your bed” challenge works because minor victories stack up. https://youtu.be/3sK3wJAxGfs
When you graduate to bigger goals, make them S.M.A.R.T.—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time‑bound. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria
Every kept promise tells your brain, “I can trust myself,” and that is the seedbed of authentic leadership.
2. The Outer Game — Team Loyalty
Dependability is magnetic.
Follow‑through builds cultures where facts travel faster than excuses and people feel safe to take risks. Break a promise, however, and trust nosedives. Studies show the drop is steeper than if the promise had never been made.
Even dark leaders understand this. Those who met Pablo Escobar recount that, while he committed unspeakable crimes, he was never called a liar. Integrity—used for evil—still commanded obedience. The principle is neutral; the application is our choice.
When leaders waffle, teams invest more energy in backup plans than in the mission itself. Momentum stalls; cynicism wins.
Why Promises Fail
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Unconscious commitments. Visionary leaders intoxicated by their own rhetoric forget they just made a promise.
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Priority drift. Something bigger lands on the desk and you never circle back.
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Lack of control. You promised outcomes that depend on people or systems outside your authority.
Crafting a Bullet‑Proof Promise
(Keep this checklist on your desk; your team will thank you.)
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Be present. Look people in the eye. Silence your phone. Promise with intention, not impulse.
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Protect scarcity. Your word is a currency; over‑printing devalues it.
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Run the numbers. Time, budget, contracts, existing commitments—check them before you vow.
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Stay in your circle of control. Promise effort and action, never results you can’t personally deliver.
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Negotiate clarity. Misheard expectations kill trust as fast as lies.
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Know your WHY. A compelling reason fuels perseverance. People‑pleasing does not.
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Plan for Force Majeure. Life happens. If an illness or blackout derails you, own the miss, apologize with empathy, and reset the commitment.
Conscious Leadership Tip #8
Make—and Keep—Meaningful Promises
Leaders are judged “one promise at a time.”
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Start Small, Scale Fast. Nail the daily disciplines (the bed, the workout, the thank‑you note) before you broadcast big dreams.
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Turn Promises into Rituals. Schedule check‑ins, set visible deadlines, celebrate completions. Rituals turn intention into culture.
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Teach the Skill. Model the process above, then coach your team to do likewise. Leadership is not about being the only reliable person in the room; it’s about multiplying reliability.
When promises become sacred, organizations become unstoppable. The standard you walk past is the standard you accept. Raise it.
Your Turn
If you’re reading this, you were not born to follow. Share your story below: a promise kept, a lesson learned, a standard upheld. Let’s learn from one another.
I promise to read every comment.